“Looking into the heart releases the good and the bad into the light where awareness, acceptance and attention can be given. This is sacred work of the soul.” And they Were Not Ashamed, Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE
Are we not all on a quest seeking after wholeness. Are we not intimate beings hungering after emotional, physical and spiritual fulfillment: “mind, body and spirit” Alma 17:5? “Complete intimacy is sharing thoughts, feelings, and energies-both positive and negative-creating an emotional, spiritual, and physical connection. If we look closely at the word intimacy we can almost see the phrase, “in-to-me-see” suggesting that couples allow each other to see into their inner selves. Intimacy is the key. We seek it from the moment we are conscious that we are alive and continue until the moment we have our last conscious thought on this planet. Only when we live in an intimate relationship with another person and an intimate relationship with God, do we have the very treasure we live our lives to find. God made us that way.” (Laura M. Brotherson)
If we measured our level of wholeness with a bucket, how many of us can say theirs is full? If our marital bucket is lacking or springs a leak, do we have the right tools to fix it? How can we keep them from becoming empty or from springing leaks and if they are filled with holes, can they become whole?
I just spent a wonderful week at Lake Powell sharing precious time with my family. I especially enjoyed reading the above mentioned book because it is, in my opinion, a manual for a successful marriage and a fulfilling and happy life. I was able to look deep inside my soul to see truth about myself like I’ve never seen before. I found answers to many of my soul’s greatest questions and struggles and realized my bucket has the need for repair. Life throws at us many perplexities about ourselves that give us cause for running away from experiencing a whole bucket. After reading this book, I can now address these issues with confidence by working out solutions called “homework” at the end of each chapter. All of the topics in this book clarifies the confusion that seems to incircle me.
The world is filled with solutions that confuse our true purpose on earth. God created us in his image, male and female to become one with him. Moses said, “Let us make man (not a separate man, but a complete man, which is husband and wife) in our image, after our likeness; and it was so (Moses 2:26).” Marriage is the bond that was instituted from the beginning of time to accomplish these divine purposes on earth of procreation and a continuation of life. President Joseph Smith said, “Unity is power”. Unity in marriage is not optional. Elder Spencer J. Condie shared his conviction, “Unity-emotional and spiritual, as well as physical-is absolutely essential to a happy marriage, one in which the partners symbolically become one in all things.” Elder Condie also identifies becoming one as a three-dimensional endeavor: physical. emotional, and spiritual.”(Laura M. Brotherson)
Satan is distorting our identities so that God’s goals cannot be reached and couples loose their power. “Being emotionally disconnected causes feeling of emptiness. Filling that void is necessary to avoid living disconnected, parallel lives as husband and wives.” (Laura M. Brotherson) Many hearts are broken each day as we look to the world to find answers for our loneliness, sorrows and longing for intimacy. If we understand our divine inheritance, we can look into our hearts, accepting in each other, both the good and bad, while knowing the potential God sees within us in accomplishing his mission for us on earth. Within the actual marital bond is the solution for all of man’s problems so long as God is a part of that union. Healing can and will happen through each person’s love for spouse, self and God. Helaman 15: 7-8
There are four steps to help us: 1. Reprioritize and remove and heal intimacy barriers. 2. Develop a testimony that marriage is of God so our faith in His commandment for husband and wife to “be one”-then we can exert the necessary effort and make the crucial changes in our lives to experience God’s divine design of marriage. 3. Believe “Intimacy is one of the highest ideals of the human heart and, as such, deserves the most exceptional efforts.” 4. With a stewardship for each other, couples can follow the Savior’s example to be each other’s keeper, to “learn the healer’s art” and to “show a gentle heart” to one another who are wounded and weary. In Marriage, husbands and wives can begin the cycle of loving and healing each other into wholeness. It is our search for intimacy and oneness in marriage that we become whole and become one-fulfilling all the longings of the heart and soul.” (Laura M. Brotherson)
As we understand our roles as fathers and mothers, our families will be blessed as our buckets are made whole through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Remember, we’re both on the same team. “With God’s help, couples can find solutions that both feel good about. Emotional intimacy is a feeling of understanding and acceptance, To be known intimately and be accepted by another is a vulnerable, yet freeing, state of being. To share your innermost worries and weaknesses, and still be accepted by your spouse, can contribute enormously to emotional fulfillment and oneness.” (Laura M. Brotherson)
The most sacred duty we can perform for ourselves is to examine our souls, to be made aware of where we are emotionally, spiritually and physically and to improve. Marriage provides us with the tools to repair and fill our buckets. “A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare, to nurture and to strengthen all her children. She teaches children to obey, to pray, to love and serve in the family. A father’s place is to preside, provide, to love and teach the gospel to his children. A father leads in family prayer to share their love for Father in Heaven. God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—This is how He shares His love, for the family is of God.” The Family is of God, Matthew Neeley
Online Marriage Resource
Laura M. Brotherson
And they Were Not Ashamed, Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment
*Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE